I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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