How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
