I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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