Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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