drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
