I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
