I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
