I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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