i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
