If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
