so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
