but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
