Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
