I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
