Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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