btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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