i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
