I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
