I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
