So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
