i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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