i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Couch. On fire.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
