Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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