we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
