Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
