Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
