If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
