I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
