Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Someone signed my nipple.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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