Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
