my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
