He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
