Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I love black thongs
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
