everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Terrible idea I love it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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