I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I supernannyed him into submission
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
