like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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