Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
