we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
