I love black thongs
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
