people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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