That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
