Yo dont text me then not text me
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
