I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
