Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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