but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize