I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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