I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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