you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
