I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
