the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
