my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
