I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
