Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
