yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
