idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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