Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
